Pineapple Fields

My man in his natural element...

Heyyy, we're back in Hawaii!

To "Turn and Pull" -- Why I Volunteer As a Big Sister

Some days I wonder how I navigated through America's systems. I was the first in my family to travel through the public, private, and higher education system, the corporate business system, and even New York's public transit system. Luckily, I was able to get through them without relatively too much pain.

I got through my childhood and young adulthood by figuring things out on my own, through hard work, and a supportive mother, but there was always one resource I wish I had: a role model, an older sibling or an older cousin who had gone through the system before. My friends were able to study from their older sister's SAT books. I had to buy my own (#firstworldproblems, I know). Their siblings were free tutors, editors, and wisemen when it came to college applications and skin care routines. Heck, I had to do all the road tests for the longest lasting backpacks and the best feminine hygiene products. Thank God I was born in the era of Google, but it would have been so helpful to hear relevant advice from someone who could sympathize with what I was going through at the time. I'm sorry Mom, your Chinese herbal medicine was never going to help me ace a test...

That feeling of being lost and yearning to have someone by my side during those formative years really stuck with me. It pushed me to seek out mentors in the future, but also made me realize that there could be one less person without a role model in this world, and I could actually make that happen.

I've always been on the fence about kids. Some days they're angels and other days, they're straight up monsters (I'm sure parents can attest to that). So when I signed up to be a Big Sister, my immediate circle of friends gave me a serious talking to about the commitment I was about to make.

One of the first times I hung out with L was at her dance recital where she danced Michael Jackson's "Thriller"

Being with L, my Little Sister, was super tough for the first five months. It was the first time I was dealing with a kid other than my kid sister (who I could yell and scream at), and our personalities could not be more different. There were days I was struggling to find common ground and days I wrestled with giving up. I decided to teach L how to ride a bike, but it became a bad day when she fell after I let go, promising that I would hold on. Trust fell to an all-time low.

The things I let L do to my face... I walked out in public like this, definitely got some looks.

Gradually with time, wounds heal, positive experiences and memories are created, trust is built back up again, and a relationship becomes stronger. L and I have reached a point where we feel comfortable being silent next to each other. We know each other's quirks and when someone is having a bad day. We've had conversations about expectations, disappointments, and the real world post-middle school. She's only 10. I try to be as honest and transparent with her (with sensitivity towards her age, of course) and give her the really reallies for her to digest.

We have been matched for 10 months now, and recently, I've been seeing a change in her. The girl who disliked doing homework or going to school asked me about what it was like to go to college. The girl that was too scared to get back on her bike asked to go biking this past Saturday. The girl who was too scared to swim the length of the pool without holding the wall every 3 seconds swam today, hands-free from end to end. Her courage does not come automatically without reservations, but the progress she's making is so clear that I can't help feeling proud.

What motivated me to write this was something I saw on our walk home today. I asked L if she was interested in taking swim classes so she could become a better swimmer. She replied with her usual response, "No, because I don't want to." I prodded her with more whys, she said she wanted to hang out with her friends instead, and ultimately said she just didn't want to learn.

I responded, "The moment you stop learning is the moment you turn dumb."

As I was explaining how learning keeps her mind elastic and expanding, I could see the cogs in her noggin churning. She was actively listening to what I was saying, not hearing. It was the first time I saw her seriously considering the argument I was making...

L's quite the bowler. Beat me in candle pin by a huge margin...

One thing I loved most about P&G was the mantra to "Turn and Pull" -- women "turning" to other women and "pulling" them in to higher positions; affinity group members making sure to recommend promotions for their deserving members. This mantra sticks with me because it applies to so many people in our lives -- someone like a Little Sister, a current student from our alma maters, or a fellow friend looking for a job.

Our country talks about income gaps, racial gaps, educational gaps... all these socioeconomic gaps and big empty words that become chicken and the egg debates or a round of pointing fingers. Instead, why don't we take action especially for those of us in a position to "turn and pull." I strongly believe that my time with L will impact her life in some way. I hope that I can help her overcome the obstacles and navigate the system that we as Americans have to swim through. I hope I can be that role model for her that I yearned for as a teen. And I hope after reading this, maybe you will consider being a role model for someone, too.

Pick the Right Blogging Platform From the Start

Everyone expects everyone to have an online presence these days, whether it's on social media, a personal website, or at the bare minimum, a LinkedIn account. It's even more true for a marketer who can't escape the basic expectation that he or she should be internet-marketing-literate, especially if the person's under 35. I'm 25.

As a millennial marketer, I get the expectation. I grew up blogging... Remember Xanga in middle/high school where you would post all your angsty "What I'm reading" or "What I'm listening" to updates? (My Xanga probably still exists somewhere on the interweb with my embarrassing username.) Or remember Friendster, the more tactful version of Tinder waaay before Facebook's time? Many social and blogging platforms have come and gone within the span of my formative years, and those basic internet skills have inherently stuck.

When I was in college, I decided to start this blog as a way to document all the interesting foods I encountered or cooked. Over the years, it has transformed from a food blog into more of an "everything-about-Connie" blog (woops). At the time when I started it, micro-blogging was all the rage. This was only five years ago in 2010. Tumblr, the most popular micro-blogging platform, was home to many food bloggers I followed; it was (and still is) super simple to use; and there was no way to resist a sexy syrup meme reblog. I did consider the more traditional blogging platforms like WordPress and Blogger, but I was young and hip, so I opted for Tumblr, the cool, trendy-sounding one.

Fast forward five years... blogging on Tumblr was a huge mistake. As a professional marketer now, I finally understand the value of blogging on traditional platforms like WordPress and Blogger. Tumblr was so easy to use because it never required anything more than adding a photo or writing a few words. On the back end, however, that meant no headers or tags were being generated with my posts. Unfortunately, SEO wasn't an important topic in school yet, so I continued blogging that way for four more years.

Once I got out into the real world, I built my own online portfolio to assist with my job search. I wanted to feature my blog to show off some of my internet skills, but pulling/embedding it from Tumblr was such a headache. I ended up using Tint, which embeds almost anything with a RSS feed, but still, my blog wasn't native to my site. After landing a job, I decided to give up on the personal portfolio blog and returned to blogging ignorantly on Tumblr.

I knew I couldn't continue to be a professional marketer without a formal online presence, so I bit the bullet and tried to build my website again. This time, I tried Squarespace and WordPress. Again, migrating my Tumblr blog was the hardest part. When migrating into Squarespace, none of the tags came through. WordPress impressively grabbed all the content from Tumblr, but my god, was it hard to customize the look and feel of my site. I then tried migrating the new WordPress blog to Squarespace, but none of my photos came through. With 5 years of content, there was no way I was going to upload each picture again. When you're someone who can't code like me, you're at the mercy of templates or boyfriends, and both seem like bad options.

In the end, my best-case way was to migrate my blog from Tumblr to Squarespace, and then go back to each post and re-tag/re-categorize everything. I'm not even close to done with this task, don't know if I will ever finish, but I was tired of working on the back end stuff and wanted to get back to my favorite part, blogging.

Why not just start a new blog altogether? Well, having history and keywords in posts help with SEO, so it's not something I want to give up entirely. I'm going to give this Squarespace blog every bit of effort I've got to get it where I want it to be. So what's the lesson after a 7-paragraph rant?

If you're starting a blog, think about how it will fit into your online portfolio or website. It might dictate or help you choose which web platform to use if you cannot code. Get it right from the start and you'll avoid all the future headaches.